Trouble with your significant other?  Did you just discover a strange rash that you do not want to mention?  Issues at work?  Don’t know how to handle your mother in law?  If you have reached Rock bottom there is only one person to go to for advice, Smoke, The Man, The Myth and The Legend!  For the first time you can reach out directly to Smoke and he will respond through this Blog!  Smoke does not have a degree in psychology, counseling, medicine or human resources, but he does make a kick-ass Poutine and is willing to toss in his two cents worth, if you dare to ask!

WARNING: Smoke’s advice is for entertainment purposes only and should not be taken as helpful in any way…in fact, if you are considering following Smoke’s advice, you should ask Smoke for his advice about that.

Glam Rocker

Dear Smoke, Will listening to Glam Rock too much burst my eardrums? -Ashley

Web Crawling

Dear Smoke, My parents think that I am Spiderman, help! -Wicked Web We Weave

Employed?

Dear Smoke, What was your first job? -Curious

Smooth Operator

Dear Smoke, I always wanted to be a surgeon, but I passed on it and became a drummer in a Death Metal band for the past ten years.  I don’t want this lifestyle any longer and would like to finish school.  The problem is, after years of abusive behavior and constantly drumming, my hands have […]

Watch the Dead

Dear Smoke, My Grandpa died and had a watch that I really liked.  I asked Grammy for the watch, so I could have a piece of him with me always, but she said no, she wants to bury the watch with him.  Not sure what to do, but he won’t need it and I really, […]

This Stinks!

Dear Smoke, The person who sits behind me at work just STINKS!  I’m talking the deepest pit of hell mixed with hummus.   What should I do if I can’t move? -Needs Help!

No Crack Here

Dear Smoke, I’m crushing on my plumber, and actually clog my drains just so I can call her.  The last time I actually flushed my bra and underwear; I think that she is getting suspicious.  What should I do? -Crushing

Plaid Nation

Dear Smoke, Will wearing plaid make me attractive? -Plain Jane

Brush Your Teeth

Dear Smoke, How long should I be brushing my teeth for?  Someone told me to do it to the Mambo No 5 song, but that seems too long.  Thoughts? -Smiley

Granny Panties

Dear Smoke, Hi, my name is Jane Doe and I am 28 years old and from PEI.  I recently found a pair of floral granny panties in the back of my boyfriends car.  They sure the hell ain’t mine, cause I don’t wear any underwear.  I tried to confront him but he just said that […]

Glam Rocker

Dear Smoke, Will listening to Glam Rock too much burst my eardrums? -Ashley

Web Crawling

Dear Smoke, My parents think that I am Spiderman, help! -Wicked Web We Weave

Employed?

Dear Smoke, What was your first job? -Curious

Smooth Operator

Dear Smoke, I always wanted to be a surgeon, but I passed on it and became a drummer in a Death Metal band for the past ten years.  I don’t want this lifestyle any longer and would like to finish school.  The problem is, after years of abusive behavior and constantly drumming, my hands have […]

Watch the Dead

Dear Smoke, My Grandpa died and had a watch that I really liked.  I asked Grammy for the watch, so I could have a piece of him with me always, but she said no, she wants to bury the watch with him.  Not sure what to do, but he won’t need it and I really, […]

This Stinks!

Dear Smoke, The person who sits behind me at work just STINKS!  I’m talking the deepest pit of hell mixed with hummus.   What should I do if I can’t move? -Needs Help!

No Crack Here

Dear Smoke, I’m crushing on my plumber, and actually clog my drains just so I can call her.  The last time I actually flushed my bra and underwear; I think that she is getting suspicious.  What should I do? -Crushing

Plaid Nation

Dear Smoke, Will wearing plaid make me attractive? -Plain Jane

Brush Your Teeth

Dear Smoke, How long should I be brushing my teeth for?  Someone told me to do it to the Mambo No 5 song, but that seems too long.  Thoughts? -Smiley

Granny Panties

Dear Smoke, Hi, my name is Jane Doe and I am 28 years old and from PEI.  I recently found a pair of floral granny panties in the back of my boyfriends car.  They sure the hell ain’t mine, cause I don’t wear any underwear.  I tried to confront him but he just said that […]