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Granny Panties

Dear Smoke,
Hi, my name is Jane Doe and I am 28 years old and from PEI.  I recently found a pair of floral granny panties in the back of my boyfriends car.  They sure the hell ain’t mine, cause I don’t wear any underwear.  I tried to confront him but he just said that he was driving with the window down and likely a gust of wind blew them in.  I have a feeling he is lying…what should I do Smoke?
-Jane Doe

Hey Jane,
I wouldn’t say the barf bag is lying, it seems likely though.  Granny panties are heavy, doubt they could have blown into his car.  If you had found a thong, the story would have been entirely plausible.   The question now is whether you are going to hang ten or blitz…and I am going to tell you, what I tell everyone involved in this sort of a struggle, go get a Poutine.  That’s right, nothing can make your problems go away better than a big Smoke’s Poutinerie Poutine, I kid you not!  Gotta bail, I have a case of floral granny panties to throw into oncoming traffic before midnight!