Dear Smoke, If I gave my dog gravy to drink, would she be able to talk to me? -Random

Dear Smoke, I think that farting in public is a terrible habit but my friend tells me that it is harmful to hold a fart in… Is this true? -Bill from Winnipeg

Dear Smoke, Will eating poutine increase my fertility? -Desperate

Dear Smoke, Cosplay is causing a rift in my marriage.  She dresses like Ginger and I have always been a Mary Ann fan.  It is getting to be a drag even dressing up like Gilligan…. What should I do? -Little Buddy

Dear Smoke, Will listening to Glam Rock too much burst my eardrums? -Ashley